The fact that I regard my own sexual behaviours as simply normal is because…

…because that’s what you’re used to. Even when faced, time and again, with your behavior not being normal, even when you fear it’s not normal (or hope it’s not), your own mind is still the default setting of your understanding of the world.

The fact that you regard such things as kinky/freaky doesn’t mean that they are

Indeed, but just because you consider something normal doesn’t mean it’s the actual norm. And deviant simply means “not according to the norm”. Now I know you’ve had enough experience to realize a lot of people don’t get it. Couple that with the fact that they had to make a descriptor, just to give people the vocabulary to express this particular kink, the only logical conclusion is that it is (sadly) not the norm. And that, my friend, makes you a deviant.

Sex being largely in the mind, what gets your rocks off is the idea that what you like is ‘freaky’

Yes, sex is largely in the mind just as sexy is a state of mind, but it’s not the idea of freaky that gets me off. Freaky comes from my acceptance that what gets me off is not the norm, and my unwillingness to continue to bed people who just don’t get it. The lover in my head was often better than the lover in my bed, but then, since it’s in my head that’s what I’m used to. Much like you, it feels normal to me.

Dear God, how did we end up here anyway?

Oh, please, don’t act like it’s not by design. The whole presentation of your story was crafted to end up here. You name-dropped me in the hopes to end up here. I just felt like indulging you.