I did miss this reply. And you’re right, this is interesting.
To summarize (and feel free to correct this if I have it wrong) you have no problem thinking of your partner as a thing — “meat” to be specific — but then you can’t bring yourself to use this meat. I have no problems using a partner at times — with the understanding I will be used at times in return — but can’t bring myself to think of him as anything but a person.
Again we seem to be agreeing on a clear line, but are approaching it from different sides. And to be honest, I’m seeing some social conditioning in our attitudes.
But just social conditioning is probably too simple. I know my own attitude has been reinforced by the dynamic of my previous toxic relationship. He always got upset if my thoughts and opinions didn’t match his. I stopped sharing my opinions. I felt a loss of me. But I never felt used (in the negative sense of the word).
It did take me a lot of work to get to, or perhaps get back to, the place where I can just freely express my opinions. Which include my opinions on sex. If those then get me the label “disturbed”, okay, I’ll own that. And I’ll be still proud of it. — But no matter how you want to turn it, we still got here via a Carpe Jugulum reference where Granny states the root of all sin is thinking of people as things. It could have turned into a discussion of the nature of sin in general, but we went for lust specifically. Part of that is on you and I’ll keep reminding you of it :P
It’s been fun though.