I’m afraid I’m stealing your fire

This morning when I stepped out to have a cup of coffee and a smoke, I noticed I have 3 disposable lighters in my purse. Two identical yellow ones and a green one. It’s not an unusual occurrence to find lighters in my purse, but I keep being surprised by it.

I remember buying the green lighter. I bought it because my yellow one stopped working. I remember very clearly throwing it out 3 days ago. In the trash. It’s gone. So where the hell did those 2 yellow lighters come from?

The simple answer is I took lighters that aren’t mine. I stole someone’s lighter. Two someones to be exact. Or maybe the same person, twice…I know it’s really annoying to be without a lighter and I really am very sorry. All I can say in my defense is I didn’t mean to steal your lighter. I do buy my own.

Had this been ten, fifteen years ago, that would have been the end of it. But this is now and smoking isn’t as common as it used to be. People are all becoming so disgustingly healthy. You can’t even light up outside the office building without some random passer by commenting “Smoking is bad for you”. Oh, really? Gee, I didn’t know that. Thank you so much for this earth shattering new information. Let me put this cigarette out right now. On your face. (Those sentences sounds surprisingly close to the words ‘Yeah, I know’ with a sweet smile when spoken out loud. Weird, huh?)

In the couple of weeks where I might have picked up someone else’s yellow lighter, thinking it was my yellow lighter, I’ve been around two other people who smoke. One of my coworkers, and I know it wasn’t her. She has been using a Bic with a really cute print on it. I even remarked how cute it is. And my dad, who I am pretty sure has been using a blue one. I borrowed that blue one when I found out (one of) my yellow lighters stopped working.

Back to where the hell did those two yellow lighters come from? Not a single clue.

So I have come to a new resolution. From now on I’ll be cleaning out my purse more often.

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