Drown out the thunder?

Why?

You can’t — no more so than you can hold back the tide.

Oh, I know. I don’t see why that should stop you from trying. To me it’s fun/therapeutic release/just fucking hot to give in to that perceived challenge.

Prancing around proclaiming “I’m a primal” or “I have the spirit of a cat” or “I honour the Earth Mother” or “I’m a Gemin” …

Jesus Christ!

Why not proclaim it? We all seek to be understood and accepted at some level. And since people can’t read minds, communicating is the way to do it. Even you do it. A big part of these conversations is about who and what you are — and that’s great. I enjoy learning who you are.

I don’t really begrudge anyone self-expression.

That I then judge them for that self-expression, sometimes harshly, is a separate thing. But even then, I prefer them expressing it, if only to know who to avoid.

I get what you are saying about showing not telling. But um, I would rather you tell me before you show me, just to get a sense of whether or not I want to be shown. That some people don’t live up to the things they claim to be is yet another thing. Posers are a problem everywhere. But it is still entirely possible that someone is and proclaims it.

What makes you suspect that?

Why is it significant?

No … why would I?

I suspect that because you seem to be that non-theatrical when it comes to sex. It’s not significant as such, it was just illustration to a point. Some people like the lights on, because they want to see, and being observed does change behavior a little bit. Even if the change is as small as keeping your back a bit more arched to accentuate curves — it’s a change for the performance of it.

Which does kinda undermine your assertion a bit, no?

If my personal taste is that important, yes. To my life it is, to their lives it’s not.

I don’t like salmon. I will eat it when it’s put in front of me and I can tell if it’s well prepared — I just don’t like it. That doesn’t say a damned thing about the cook who made the salmon. It only says something about me.

You want me to recite a sonnet or talk dirty?

Just make some goddamned noise. The how and what can be up to you.

Because that’s not disturbing

Yes….it’s disturbing….that was the point.

that there’s a danger in seeking a partner by means of checking they’re sexually compatible rather than actually compatible of it leaving you high and dry once you’re dry and he can’t get it up high any more

The two are not mutually exclusive. Ideally you want a partner where you’re compatible on all areas, or at least have differences that are tolerable. But it’s a fact that people in general tend to undervalue sexual compatibility which is a recipe for frustration, resentment, dissatisfaction and ultimately betrayal in romantic relationships.

But that is far from “all kink comes from mental and/or emotional deficiency” — the only time you’ll see/hear me say that is when I’m pressing your buttons.

Fair. It is one of my buttons.

You can’t have it both ways; either you’re just trolling or you think I am (at least partly) kinky — so, which is it?

That’s a bit too black and white for my tastes. I think you are unusual — that doesn’t make you kinky. Displaying something part of a kink doesn’t round up to kinky. But just because you’re not kinky doesn’t make all your behavior the norm either. Saying “everyone” does something only because you do it is still false.

Writer of fiction, blogs and erotica. Frequency in that order. Popularity in reverse.

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