… and then write the story of the coffee machine that reasoned that the best way to do that was to surgically deliver the coffee into the drinker so that the maximum rate of consumption could be retained.

Sounds like a nice Sunday writing project. I’ll see what I can come up with.

the one where you grow a moustache or beard or whatever for November — Movember, wasn’t it?

Ah, awareness and prevention of prostate cancer is a worthy cause. But I have *latex glove snaps against wrist* different ways of helping that endeavor.