While I completely agree on principle, and try to practice this, I know how hard it is to do.
To sit on your fingers while someone clearly attacks on of the tribe. Running up and starting to fling shit at the attacker is probably a deep instinct.
To make the dynamic even more interesting, most people will shrug attacks on themselves off. Whatever anyone can say, we’ve probably told ourselves worse. But attacks on a friend will leave us deeply offended.
It’s the dark side of empathy I suppose.